Tomorrow is my youngest daughters birthday. I remember it like it was yesterday! All through out my pregnancy every where I went people would ask me if I was hoping for a boy, (as they looked at my 2 older daughters - I always thought that was so rude!) and my reply was always the same "nope, just praying for a redhead" - you see I am a redhead and not one of my daughters had looked anything like me. I wanted a red head. Well you can imagine my obnoxious behavior, oh I mean my delight when Grace came out with her head covered in beautiful, glistening red hair!! It looked like eyelashes it was so thin, and the only way to know for sure it was red was to take her into the sunlight (yep, that baby was in the sun once a day!)
Well tomorrow is her birthday, and I was running behind in getting out her invitations to her party (I know BAD MOM trust me I am full of guilt) but we were trying to decide what to do - her birthday is falling this year right in between Mother's Day weekend, and the weekend we leave for vacation. So we planned this cute little luau, with cute games that included musical beach blankets, a beach relay race - and you know what I am going to say. Only 1 little girl is coming to her birthday. I learned that there is another party on Saturday for another little girl in her class (her mom was a good mom and got invites out early - and no, my little Grace was not invited) I am so blue, I want to cry. As a mom when our baby hurts, it makes us hurt. No one is perfect, life is not perfect and learning to live in the real world is an important lesson but I think it stinks to learn it at 7!!!!! Thank goodness that we have sisters!! So we will fill up the house a little bit, but even Grace said she was going to have the littlest party ever. (you now see why I am crying! and blubbering like an imbecile!!) I just do not know how to fix this - and I feel so frustrated, guilty, angry, upset, (I think that may cover the gamit of emotions that I am feeling right now)
Well I am done pouring out my heart, I do feel a little bit better to confess to everyone in Blog land that I am a crumby mom. Hope everyone has a good weekend - I will try to have a more uplifting attitude in my next post. Thanks for listening to me whine!!! Does anyone have any advice or a story to share that might make me feel better? please do not scold me I really could not handle anymore guilt at this point!
Posts
What a sweet photo of your little "redhead".
ReplyDeleteI'd say move the party outside and invite the neighborhood kids (all ages)to join you for refreshments to celebrate. Sometimes an impromptu party can be lots of fun! Hand everyone a piece of sidewalk chalk and have them draw a birthday greeting on the sidewalk for the Birthday Girl.
http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/2010/05/middle-child-syndrome/comment-page-1/#comment-10920
ReplyDeleteYou gotta read this Blog.
The two of you will cheer each other up.
Being a Mom is hard
and we don't always get it right.
((HUGS))
First of all, Grace is a DOLL! :) I adore red hair and thought for sure my little Tucker Man would be a redhead when he entered this world with strawberry blonde peach fuzz on that little head of his, but alas...he is a blonde. I love him anyway. ;)
ReplyDeleteSecondly, you are absolutely NOT a bad mommy! Everyone has those days...days when it just doesn't all come together the way we wanted or hoped. And you're absolutely right when you say that our child's pain is our own. :( It is heartbreaking and I am terribly sorry that your little one wasn't at least invited to the other party. Children can be cruel and it isn't a fun lesson to learn.
Since she'll have only one guest, why not do something extra special? Come up with some cool luau-style recipes that the girls can help prepare; get plain canvas totes from the craft department at WalMart and some fabric paints, beads, etc. and let them design their own beach bags; get some luau/beach themed scrapbook supplies, take lots of pics and print them out and let them each create their own scrapbook of all the fun they have that day. There are LOTS of ways to make it extra fun and then those other kids will wish THEY'D been there, too! :)
Please don't beat yourself up over this. (Easy for me to say, I know. I'd be doing the same thing.) You can end up making this the most special birthday ever. One she'll never forget...for all the RIGHT reasons! :)
this happened to us one time, too...
ReplyDeleteyou are not a bab mom...you're a very busy mom, i would guess.
some times other things happen as a priority and kids learn to rock and roll with the punches.
in our situation, it ended up...we had the party..even though it was small. come to find out, one of the girls that WAS there, needed some EXTRA one-on-one time with my daughter. That wouldn't have happened if the others had been there.
(it's like when we go to church...sometimes we're not there for what we will get but what we will give to someone else in 'more need' that day)
Happy Birthday celebrations!! She's a beautiful girl & she has a wonderfully compassionate mommy...
my girl's a week from graduating high school: it flies by, so love her lots, especially since she can still sit in your lap :)
How precious is she with those freckles and gorgeous red hair? You are NOT a bad mommy!
ReplyDeleteYour party plans sound like so much fun, so you just make it the best party you can with those that do come! In the end, she won't remember who wasn't there, she will remember who WAS there!
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
Robin :o)
My little one will turn 13 on May 19th. I haven't sent out any invite either. I totally understand how you hurt when your child hurts. One girl at my daughter school started a rumor about my daughter, and it hurt her so much. I wanted to go and really beat the crap out of this girl. Emily told me that she would handle it, and I let her. She was so proud of herself for handling the sitiution. The girl admitted that the rumor was a lie. It just sucked for a week. Let me tell you. It is terrible having to figure out that some people are just mean at an early age.
ReplyDeleteYour daughter is beautiful. hang in there and your not a crumby mom.
Actually, that other kid did Grace a favor because now her and her friend can have one on one time in being pampered. Just think, you can do so much when there's just the two of them. You can turn it into a slumber party..go to the movies, have a manicure, go to a water park, out to eat....make crafts. I say, "Enjoy!" That little girl is going to wish she had invited Grace to her party. By the way, you are both gorgeous with red hair!
ReplyDeleteShe is a doll!! I totally understand when your baby hurts, so do we!! It's a horrible feeling too.
ReplyDeleteSince there will only be one girl there, perhaps you can make it a sleepover!! What fun that would be and they can help make cupcakes, stay up and watch a movie or something along those lines?!
I just read the response above...yeah, manicure too! Fun girly things!! I'm sure she'll love it!
So sorry. I can definitely feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteI probably would have rescheduled once I found out, but of course that doesn't help now.
Just make it the best party you possible can, don't apologize, don't act like there's anything "less than" about it and move on.
Good luck. :)
She's adorable!!
ReplyDeleteSuggestion! What if you bagged the luau and plan it for another weekend? Spend this one doing a "girls day". Take her to a favorite kid place (movie or chucky cheese etc...), out to lunch, and to a toy store where she gets to pick out a toy of her choice. It can be her own special day with family and it will give you time to rally some more friends together for next weekend or the one after that...
I HAVE A REDHEAD TOO....and the same thing happened at her 7th birthday. Only one child came. So I....being the momma that I was....gave her a birthday party of her dreams...with her one little friend. We still had the spend the night part...but the next day we went and had pedicures and manicures and went shopping in Atlanta...had dress up tea at a tea room....and bellieve me this mom rocked. Hugs to you both!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. That's sucky! I think it's understandable for you as a mom to be just as upset-- BUT there has been so much going on lately.
ReplyDeleteI think the best parties I've ever attended had the fewest girlfriends. More one on one time. I don't know if this makes you or Gracie feel any better, but Gracie is one of my favorite kids in the neighborhood. Seriously, she is the sweetest and most talkative kiddo. She always makes me laugh. Oh, and I always get along better with redheads- ask my BF Amber. Anyway, tell Gracie I said Happy Birthday!!
Aww... my heart breaks for you. It really stinks when we screw up and it affects our kids. (I know, I do it often it seems.)
ReplyDeleteYou could always do another party for her in a couple of months and really do it up BIG!
I feel so badly that your daughter was left out of the other party invite. :( It's hard to fix some things.
Don't beat yourself up. She won't hold it against you. =)
love the beach bag idea! I say just do some fun activities that would be chaos with too many kids. One of my girls had only one friend at her last party but thanks to sisters it seemed much bigger :)
ReplyDeleteHere's the thing: Life happens, and you aren't a bad mom. IMO, that other girl is mean to exclude your daughter. And, what kind of mom allows that to happen? She is absolutely adorable.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom & I were JUST talking about this kind of thing the other day. Since my b'day falls in the middle of June, everyone was always at camp, on family vacation, etc. I was always singing the "Birthday Blues" myself as a little girl. :( In the meantime, as long as you has the love of her family, she will be a Happy Birthday Girl. :)
ReplyDeleteThe same thing happened with my granddaughter's 8th birthday party--it was a luau, too. The invitations were handed out at school and I guess never made it home. Only one little girl (from church) came. It was sad, but we made the most of it. You will, too. You're not a crummy mom--if you were, this wouldn't bother you.
ReplyDeleteawww, little grace...i am sorry she had this complete and utter disappointment...and same for you...
ReplyDeletesometimes people just suck! disappointments are a stupid part of life, but with your attitude and grace's charm, she will be stronger for it, i know it! (she is a lucky girl to have 2 sisters, something i will never have to have my back when the chips are down...)
i hope she had a wonderful day, happy belated birthday grace!!
and by the way, you look beautiful in your what is beauty post!!
xoxo
First off, she is so adorable. Secondly, I don't have any children, but I was one. Whatever happens, you can never plan how she will remember it. Years from now, she may remember how cozy it turned out, with only special people there, or she may look back on it as the birthday from H. E. double hockey sticks. You just do the best you can and maybe one day she'll just smile and shake her head at you and know that you meant well.
ReplyDelete